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How Long Does A Twinkie Live?

How long does a Twinkie live? Well, we don’t have a Twinkie. But we have a Little Debbie Cloud Cake, which is a Twinkie knock-off.

What, me? Be in possession of junk food?

Here’s how it happened: about a year and a half ago – maybe two and a half; time has flown since we moved up here – someone gave B a Valentine Day craft. It was a cardboard person whose body consisted of a wrapped Cloud Cake. I was not happy, because the giver knew how I feel about that kind of food. And that I do NOT feed #*$& like that to my kid. BUT…

“Memories…”

I happened to remember the day I saw a ten-year-old, unwrapped Twinkie. I mean, it had been unwrapped for ten years. A friend had invited me and B to an open gym with her mom’s group when her daughter and my son were still just toddlers. When the play period was up, two Shaklee distributors stood by a table outside the gym. On the table was, according to the ladies, a ten-year-old Twinkie.

It looked exactly like any of the unwrapped Twinkies that were shipped to your local convenience store yesterday.

Their point was, of course, that Twinkies are full of dangerous chemicals that prevent the breaking down of what little organic material the decades-old treat contains.

Back to the future

So when we got home with the Valentine person, I told B in no uncertain terms that he wasn’t going to eat it, and why. But, being the clever homeschooling mom that I am – as well as the manipulative health nut who wants to brainwash her son to be as radical about healthy eating as she is – I told him that we would keep it as a science experiment.

I told him about the Twinkie. Then I said, “Let’s just keep this on the shelf and see what happens.”

A couple of weeks ago, I decided to go ahead and unwrap it. Here it is, unwrapped:

How long does a Twinkie stay good?

How long does a Twinkie stay good?

I hope that picture does not tempt you to go snack. If it does, you’d better not tell me. Unless you are desperate for an earful about poison and giving yourself cancer and not being a good steward over your body. In that case, tell away!

So, note that on about October 25, 2016, we unwrapped that Cloud Cake. In about a year, I am going to take another photo of it to show you what it looks like.

Will it show any sign of decay? Will the ants have eaten it by then? Or will it grow six legs and a cockroach head and nibble our toes at night? Stay tuned by subscribing to this blog! (See top of right sidebar.)

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