You know you’re getting old when…
**You read a novel in which the main characters are in their late 20’s and their parents watched the same television programs when they were kids…that you did when you were a kid!
**You’re at the low end of your ideal weight, yet you get embarrassed by how your gluteus maximus hangs out of your swimsuit bottom.
**You know all the lyrics to all the ‘80s songs playing in the store where you’re shopping.
**You know some of the lyrics to some of the ‘60s and 70s songs, too.
**”Perimenopause” has become a household word among the adults in your home…and it’s your fault.
**Everyone under the age of thirty is a kid.
**The last Michael Jackson song you remember is “Jenny Are You Okay”. And even then, you’re not sure that’s the proper title of the song.
**Your mother is about to turn the big 8-0.
**The worry/anger lines between your forehead have taken up permanent residence.
**You get the revelation that every single anti-aging product on the market is a scam.
**You are no longer repulsed by people who wake up in the morning hacking and hock-ptooing, because you have become one of them.
**People stop telling you that you should have another baby.
Well, look at that. There’s a silver lining around every cloud after all.