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You Know You’ve Been Gardening Too Long When…

In the spirit of Jeff Foxworthy’s “You Know You’re a Redneck When…”, I present to you, “You Know You’ve Been Gardening Too Long When…” First the text, then the video.

You know you’ve been gardening too long when…

…you start talking to earthworms.

…your husband buys you a new tool set on your tenth wedding anniversary. And you are elated about it.

…you declutter your closet, and end up taking a dozen old straw hats to the Goodwill.

…you can’t buy lettuce at the grocery store without wondering what variety it is.

…your mechanic asks you what’s wrong with your car, and you tell him you think it needs more fertilizer.

…you can think of nothing more exciting than flipping through seed catalogs.

…you don’t get why people look at you funny when you tell them you eat weeds.

…your friend complains about the bugs in her house, and you suggest she set up a frog pond in the middle of her kitchen.

…your friend complains about the bugs in her house, and you have to go over to look at them and figure out whether or not they are beneficial.

…you’re the only one in your neighborhood who cries when she steps on a spider.

…you actually have an opinion about the best heirloom radish variety.

…your neighbors tell you for heaven’s sake to stop leaving boxes of zucchini and tomato on their front steps!

…you don’t flinch when you figure out that the speck on the lettuce leaf you just put into your mouth was an inchworm.

…two weeks without rain depresses you.

…you attend a keg party, just because you hope to get a free rain barrel out of the deal.

…you burn a pie in the oven because you got caught up watching a bean plant sprout.

…someone tells you they smoke weed, and you picture them with a flaming dandelion in their mouths.

Hey, no such thing as gardening too long! Fellow gardeners, rock on!

And if you need resources to help you simplify your life, be sure to click the “Emily’s books” tab at the top of the page.

Now, for the video. Enjoy, and please give it a “thumbs up” if you like it! Thanks. 🙂

Got any of your own (family-friendly) ideas? Please add them in the comments below!

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