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I Must Be Autistic

Out of desperation, I recently searched “How I Cured My Irlen Syndrome.” No cure was forthcoming, however; just the same old websites singing the praises of colored reading sheets and special glasses. I tried not to cry from my bitter and shocking disappointment.  😉

Then, having recently made a connection between all the so-called mental dysfunctions afflicting society, I searched something like “Irlen Syndrome and autism.” Whereupon I discovered an interesting article about Irlen Syndrome on a website devoted to autism. It was interesting because there, I discovered that I must be autistic.

How’s that, you ask? I’m so glad you care! So let me explain.

According to this article, three types of people (and three types only) suffer from Irlen Syndrome: people with learning disabilities, autistic people, and people with developmental delays.

I’ve never had any kind of learning disability. And while I don’t always act like I’m the sharpest knife in the drawer, I don’t think I’ve ever experienced any kind of developmental delay. Unless you want to count the fact that I did not understand the timing of musical notes until I was in seventh grade. Which I don’t. So there!

Anyway, that leaves autism. Yes, that’s it! I must be autistic. That’s why I have Irlen Syndrome.

And our next president is a Libertarian.

The truth? I no longer believe in Irlen Syndrome. Or that autism, ADHD, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, and dyslexia are five completely distinct issues.

Here’s a teaser for you: out of a list of thirty-two symptoms of Asperger’s, I fit into fifteen of them. Four or five, in a severe way. My son fits into at least eighteen.

I’ll get into that in a near-future post. For now, I’ll leave it like this: there is way too much inaccurate information about mental health issues on the Web. Sorry to shock you.

See you next time. 😉


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