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When You Think Nobody Cares

Question on Quora:

How do I get out of the “nobody cares” mindset?

My answer:

There’s an old children’s book lying around out there, entitled (I think) Buzz, Buzz, Buzz. It starts out with a bee stinging a farmer, then the farmer getting angry and taking it out on his…mule? Wife? I don’t remember. But it goes on, with each angry/annoyed animal/person causing a bigger problem as the domino effect continues.

The crux of the story is that one little action from a seemingly insignificant creature can lead to dire consequences.

On the flip side, one little action from a seemingly insignificant creature can lead to wonderful consequences.

Somebody cares about what you say. Somebody cares about what you do. Because whatever you say or do will have at least a small impact on somebody else. That impact may cause that other person to have an impact on somebody else, and that next impact may be bigger than the one you originally made – without realizing it.

The ripple effect is alive and well, whether we’re aware of it or not. And even if you will never meet the people whom you ultimate affect by your thoughts, words, and behavior, they care. Because their life was impacted.

The question is, will you cause a positive ripple or a negative ripple? Think about it, because the answer will impact more people than you ever realize.

That’s how you get out of the “nobody cares” mindset.

That, and possible a magnesium supplement to help you with depression.

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Does Everybody Have A Calling On Their Life?

“Does everybody have a calling on their life? If so, what is my calling?”

The very word “calling” causes confusion, especially among believers, because for a long time it has been used exclusively to refer to a person being called into ministry, usually to some position of leadership in the institutional church. Therefore, if God hasn’t called you into the ministry, you don’t have a calling on your life.

I’m about to turn that idea on its head.

In the last post, I explained that every human ever born shares the same purpose: to create. Every human ever born also has a calling, but each person is assigned a unique calling.

Yes, all believers are called to share their faith. to share the love of God with the world. A small minority are called to focus their entire lives on that. But everybody else has a specific calling that God assigns to them. This calling helps to fulfill:

  1. the individual’s creative purpose, and
  2. God’s plan for the world.

Note number two. It’s crucial. Reread it like this: “The calling God has placed on your life helps to fulfill God’s plan for the world.”

Reverse translation: if you don’t follow your calling, you become an obstruction for God’s plans.

Not that God can’t work His way around a person’s ignorance or defiance. We’d really be in trouble if that were the case, because many people never answer God’s call on their lives.

Now, don’t panic if you’re not sure what your calling is. It’s not that much more complicated than figuring out your purpose (which is really simple, remember?).

Your unique calling is the where, when, and how of the overarching “why”, or purpose, of your life: to create. Where, when, and how are you to create? When you can answer that question, you’ve figured out your calling.

First, understand this

The first thing you need to understand is that your calling will not necessarily remain the same for your whole life. Or, it may remain the same but take on a variety of hues.

For example, God has called me to teach. For thirteen years the calling had me in an elementary school. Now I teach adults how to live a more abundant life, and eventually will teach children again by way of creating homeschool materials for both parents and their children.

Same calling, different hues.

The four basic types of calling

The first kind of calling is situational. Many, if not most, people experience a situational calling at some point in their life. For some, it will be their sole calling. The situational calling happens when you realize that you can do something to help the situation you are in. You can befriend someone, you can gather and lead a team to accomplish a goal, you can meet someone’s basic needs. It can be as easy as sensing that you’re supposed to help support that orphanage you just heard about and send it a monthly donation.

Basically, you pay attention to the needs around you and respond in love, and with God’s wisdom.

The second type of calling is pain-driven. A traumatic event or chronic difficult situation that you’ve experienced earlier in life now drives you to help others in similar situation. A rape victim teaches basic self-defense to teenage girls and young women. A man whose alcoholic father beat him as a child might now act as an advocate for abused children, or might help rehabilitate drug-addicted parents. A cancer survivor teaches people with a cancer diagnoses about the importance of nutrition and diet, or runs a support group for the cancer patients and their family members.

You get the picture.

The third type of calling is missional. This is a “Go out into all the world” calling. All believers are supposed to share their faith wherever they are. Some are specifically called to travel the world to do so.

But missional callings aren’t strictly about faith-sharing. If you’re a doctor, you might feel called to travel to Third-World countries and teach people basic personal hygiene skills while helping villages to set up simple water sanitation systems. If you’re an author, you might set up free webinars where you teach your craft to budding writers from around the world.

Any skill or knowledge base you have that could help make the world a better place could be set into motion with a missional calling.

Finally, there’s the passion-based calling. This is probably the most obvious type, because when someone is passionate about a certain issue, or they love using a particular skill or talent that they have, it shows. It consumes most of their waking hours. If they don’t involve themselves in their passion for even one day, they wake up the next morning desperate to get back into it.

If they have to back away from their passion for more than a day – say, they get sick or something – watch out! They are going to get crabby! Because it’s frustrating not being able to indulge in your passion.

I know. My passion is writing. Fiction especially, but any kind of writing. If I don’t write something for three days running, I start to feel empty and restless.

The call to create

If you’re not sure what your calling is right now, assume it’s situational. Look around at your circumstances right now and figure out what you can do to help the other people involved in these circumstances. What abilities do you have that could create something positive? Take the next step that you see to take. And pray.

Always pray.

You won’t miss your calling that way. In fact, after reading this you may realize that you are already walking out your calling!

Look back at all the types of callings. Each one, however uniquely suited to an individual, demands some level of creativity. In what ways can you create? How can you apply your creativity to your life right now, to be a blessing to others?

Answer those two questions, and you will eventually step into your calling. The important thing when asking, “What is my calling?” is to just keep on stepping and praying.

To your abundance,

Emily

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“What is my purpose?”

“Why do I exist?”

“What’s the meaning of life?”

All questions people have asked for thousands of years – and which most supposed gurus have failed abysmally to answer correctly. Even today’s theologians and motivational speakers usually miss the boat on this.

I understand why. I used to think discovering one’s purpose was a complicated business that could take most of your life. It’s not that I was ever taught that directly, but both the religious and educational systems have a way of obscuring the issue. Because if either system answers the question truthfully, it will set off a domino effect that will eventually lead to its implosion.

If you’ve been asking, “What is my purpose?”, I have fantastic news for you.

The answer is simple.

It doesn’t take a degree in theology.

It doesn’t take a motivational guru’s long-weekend, thousand-dollar seminar.

It doesn’t take a list of steps that you have to get exactly right.

Knowing your purpose is easy. And simple.

Because every single human being who has ever been born, and will ever be born, shares the same purpose.

Your purpose is to create.

In the beginning…

If you went to Sunday school when you were a kid, you very likely learned that you were created in God’s image. Most of the time, the explanation of what that means is limited to having a spirit.

God is a spirit being, He created people in His image by endowing them with spirits.

True though that may be, it’s only half of what is meant by being created in God’s image.

In the beginning, what did God do?

He created.

As He is the Ultimate Creator, so is each person a creator. God created us to create.

We are all creative beings.

With a caveat. As everything that God created He declared to be “good”, so it is His will that your creative endeavors be a blessing to others, to leave the world a better place than you found it.

We are created to create more good, more love.

“But I can’t -!”

You may be thinking, “But I’m not creative! I can’t write. I can’t paint. I can’t sing. I can’t dance. I can’t even build a house out of Lego blocks!”

You’re thinking that because we’re all taught that being creative has to do with the visual and performing arts. But the ability to create goes much farther than the visual and performing arts.

You can create a positive atmosphere in your home or the grocery store by speaking positive words.

You can create a better day for someone by encouraging them and smiling at them.

You can create a more productive environment at work by guiding others to seek solutions to problems.

You can create a love of learning in a child by being there for them, and sharing your knowledge and wisdom in engaging and interesting ways.

You can create a better life for an orphan on the other side of the world by giving. Because creativity is often a cooperative endeavor.

Most plays have multiple actors, not to mention the scene builders, the director, and the stage manager. A choir is obvious a cooperative effort to produce a performance.

Creative acts often occur via team effort.

If you’ve been confused about what your purpose is, it’s time to make a paradigm shift. You were created to create.

Your purpose here on earth is to create.

You are a creative individual.

“I get it, but…”

Having read this article answering the question, “What is my purpose?”, you are now in one of two places. First, you may be feeling relieved.

“Oh, it’s that simple? Wow! I totally know what my purpose is!”

Second, you may still be mentally floundering. “So…I’m supposed to create. Fabulous. But what am I supposed to create? How do I figure that out? Or does just anything go?”

And there, we run into the concept of calling. Your calling is the what, where, and when (and often with whom) of your creative purpose. We all share the same purpose of creating, but calling is specific and unique to each individual.

In the next Motivational Monday post, I will delve into how to discover your unique calling. It takes a little more digging than the purpose question, but again, it’s not nearly as complicated as we’ve been led to believe.

In the meantime, you might want to check out an awesome tool that I created in order to help you live a more abundant life. Here’s the link to it: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1727320212

To your abundance,

Emily

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Why Dieting Is A Bad, Bad, BAD Idea

“Why do I always gain back the weight that I lose when I diet?”

If you’ve ever asked yourself that question, number one, join throngs of other people; and number two, the fact that you are asking it should tell you how healthy and effective it is to diet.

IT. IS. NOT.

Unless you are obese and have been told by a doctor that you’re likely going to experience a heart attack unless you lose a bunch of weight within the next few months, weight loss should never be a goal.

Yes, you read that right. But for those of you who can’t believe your eyes are working, I’ll type it again:

Weight loss should never be a goal.

I just singlehandedly put Weight Watchers out of business.

Ha! In my dreams. In order for that to happen, this blog post would have to go SERIOUSLY viral (hint, hint, my dear readers with thousands of social media followers among the lot of you).

Why weight loss should never be a goal

Here’s the problem with endeavoring to lose weight. Unless, of course, it’s the very first time you’re doing it and once you do, you’re going to be committed to never gaining the weight back. But that’s probably not you. You have probably dieted multiple times, lost and regained, lost and regained.

And if that’s you, you’ve undoubtedly discovered that after the first few times you diet, you start gaining back more weight than you actually lost. And on subsequent diets, you can never lose as much weight again. Or if you can, it comes right back on as soon as you start eating normally again – even if you’re eating healthier than you were before.

This happens because your body is designed to take in nourishment every day, enough to meet your daily energy output. So when you go on a diet, restricting your usual caloric intake, after a few days your body starts to think you’re beginning to starve. Thus, it slows down its metabolism, taking longer to burn calories.

Once you get off the diet, your body says to itself, “All right! Food! I better hang on to extra, in case we start to starve again.” And so much of the weight you had lost returns.

Yo-yo diet like this enough time, and your body decides that to keep you from starving, it needs to make sure you stay at a certain weight when you are eating your usual daily fare. This is called the “weight set point”, and it’s pretty much guaranteed to be higher than what physicians have set forth as your ideal weight.

Worse, once your body has decided where your weight set point is, it will do everything it can to keep you at that weight. If you go on a diet, you will lose some – maybe even a lot – of weight, but chances are high that not long after ending the diet, you will be back to that weight set point number. Because, remember, your body is creating extra fat to keep you from starving.

So when I tell you not to diet, basically I’m telling you not to make your body think that you’re starving.

The superior goal to make

So, no more weight loss goals! Instead, determine to be healthy. Create goals that involve eating more fruits and vegetables and less flour and meat. Create goals to eliminate most processed foods. Create exercise and fitness goals.

Decide on, write down, and begin taking action steps toward eating and being healthier.

Forget diets. They don’t work. Now you understand why. If you know someone who keeps asking, “Why do I keep gaining all the weight back?”, make sure to send them a link to this article.

To your abundance,

Emily

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