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Here’s what I look like at this current moment:

I almost didn’t post this, because of how people enjoy making weird photos go viral. So please do me a huge favor and don’t post this to Pinterest, Facebook, or anywhere else online.

That way you’ll save me the trouble of finding out where you live, muu-ha-ha.  😉

After this happened, I began thinking about possible responses to the inevitable question, “What happened to you?!”

My creative, whacky brain came up with the following answers.

#1. “My lip was on the wrong end of a bad Frisbee aim.”

#2. “My lip had an argument with a Frisbee, and the Frisbee won.”

#3. “My kid has bad aim.”

#4. “My kid has great aim, and even better denial skills.”

#5. “This is why we stopped at one child. We knew we would have another boy.”

#6. “My husband let his passion get out of control.”

#7. “Plastic surgery to get my own pair of Mick Jagger lips gone wrong.”

#8. “Almost forty-eight years and never a swollen lip. Guess God thought it was about time.”


Tell you one thing about it. Here I’ve been thinking that the cyst/mole/whatever above my right eye made me ugly.

Nope. It don’t got nothin’ on a swollen lip, sugah.

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