Here’s what I look like at this current moment:
I almost didn’t post this, because of how people enjoy making weird photos go viral. So please do me a huge favor and don’t post this to Pinterest, Facebook, or anywhere else online.
That way you’ll save me the trouble of finding out where you live, muu-ha-ha. 😉
After this happened, I began thinking about possible responses to the inevitable question, “What happened to you?!”
My creative, whacky brain came up with the following answers.
#1. “My lip was on the wrong end of a bad Frisbee aim.”
#2. “My lip had an argument with a Frisbee, and the Frisbee won.”
#3. “My kid has bad aim.”
#4. “My kid has great aim, and even better denial skills.”
#5. “This is why we stopped at one child. We knew we would have another boy.”
#6. “My husband let his passion get out of control.”
#7. “Plastic surgery to get my own pair of Mick Jagger lips gone wrong.”
#8. “Almost forty-eight years and never a swollen lip. Guess God thought it was about time.”
Tell you one thing about it. Here I’ve been thinking that the cyst/mole/whatever above my right eye made me ugly.
Nope. It don’t got nothin’ on a swollen lip, sugah.